14 Things to Consider Before Asking For a Divorce
When couples go through a painful marriage, separation becomes a last resort. At times, they try as much as possible to salvage their marriage, but there comes a time when they can no longer hold to stay longer with one another.
Due to the painful moments that each one of them experience, and the point of separation has finally come, there are several things that one should know before calling it quits, and This is in a bid to ensure that there is no sense of guilt after the official decree has been made. Some of these things include:
1. How much more can you wait?
In as much as one has gone through a lot of pain in marriage, it’s essential to ask yourself this question. You may consider waiting a while more before asking for the Divorce and see if things could work better. For instance, if the children are still very young, could you wait a little longer and watch them grow if it’s not a life-threatening situation?
2. The cost of the entire Divorce.
Before asking for the marriage annulment, consider the cost of the entire process. For instance, one may decide to go through the Attorney, which means there is a substantial amount of money that needs to be put aside to enable you to go through the process.
If on the other hand, you could consider using an online divorce service, it’s also essential to know which site will work out best for you. Still, online divorce is an inexpensive method to use when ending a marriage, and it works well for an uncontested divorce.
It’s a cheap method of separation since one will go through the process without the lawyer. The only thing to consider is to choose the service to users who will guide you on how to access the divorce papers and a successful filing of the same. Once the documents are fully complete, they are reviewed, and further advice is given on any issues that need to be amended.
Once the form filling is complete, the forms are submitted to the courts for analysis and final decree.
3. Consider what you will tell your children about the breakup.
No matter how old the children are, they need to be told the reason for ending the marriage. If they are young, think wisely on how you will explain to them why they no longer live as a complete family. Consider the future repercussions of the kids once they grow up. For instance, will they view you as a loser or a saviour to their lives? You can find more information on how divorce affects children here.
Ensure that all loopholes to make your children feel like they contributed towards your breakup are sealed.
4. Weigh out and ensure that you are in your right mind as you ask for Divorce.
In most cases, people go through stages in life, which lead them to make regrettable mistakes. Before making this critical decision, ask yourself whether you are in the right mind. Ensure that it’s not the influence of midlife crisis where you would feel like if I were to end the marriage, then things would be better. Midlife crisis often leads people into making emotional decisions which ought to have been controlled.
5. Consider a no-fault divorce.
Before deciding getting ask for the marriage annulment, it’s essential to talk it over with your spouse and choose to have an uncontested divorce. This is where you agree to end the marriage, settle on the division of assets, and use the online divorce method, which is affordable and cost-effective. After all, if there is nothing that can be done to salvage the marriage, the option is to break the marriage and part ways. If you could end up peacefully, then it will be less painful, and one will be able to move on with the new life and adjust easily.
6. There is no Quickie divorce, as one may presume.
As long as one has gone through a proper way of ending a marriage, you should rest assured that there is nothing natural, including ending the marriage. The minimum period that one can go through and get a decree is six weeks, but depending on the technicalities of the case, it’s worth knowing that the process could take up to six months, so it’s critical to consider the time before you start the process.
7. Consider where you have come as a couple.
There are anger concerns that lead to ending marriages which remain unsettled for some time. But before asking for the Divorce, have you asked yourself of the milestones you have succeeded together? How long has the anger been and to what extent has it challenged the marriage? Is it something that could involve a counsellor who could give advice and save the marriage? All these questions need to be put into the mind before deciding on breaking the marriage.
Mostly we forget about the good things when there is a burning, but all in all, what is most important in life is to have the good memories and make life better than it is today using those cherished old good memories.
8. Do not live with the guilt of the past.
People, at times, live a life of guilt conscience about thinking what others will say if they end the marriage. If you consider what others will say, then life will become miserable because of fear. Consider making an ultimate decision that will make you and your children live a happy life than retain the status quo, which will end up giving you heart attacks and leave a painful experience.
9. Be aware that you cannot separate the assets you acquired before the marriage.
The courts can decide on the divorce settlement about the assets you had before marriage. Therefore as you consider breaking the union, be aware that the courts will equitably divide the assets amongst both of you as if they were a family affair. However, in cases where there was a prenuptial agreement before marriage, then it will take precedence in determining the assets sharing.
10. How much have you scrutinized the stages of a standard marriage?
Usually, the first phase of marriage is a very trying moment. As people try to adjust their lives to fit the lives of their spouses, there are many hitches that one needs to sacrifice to accommodate the other. Such are the stages of marriage that one needs to examine them and know what others did and overcame. When you think about that, then it will be easier to put your head high and reverse the decision about ending the marriage.
11. Speak out about the stressing issues.
If you feel that you have come to an end and you must end the marriage, consider the people who are directly involved in your life and share out your woes to them. For instance, some close friends will stick with you in time of need, and before leaving your marital home, let them know. After all, you need a shoulder to lean on when in pain. Also, let your children know about your intentions so that they can even know the change of circumstances.
12. What is the short term or long term effects of the Divorce?
Think of how lifestyle will affect you and your children. For instance, if you had a family car, will you retain the status quo, or will the available finances accommodate you to live the same life you had while married. Ensure that there will be solutions to manage such changes and if you cannot, look for ways to make sure that you adjust according to the new lifestyle.
13. If you have resolved the issues, are you getting back for the right reasons?
One thing you should never do is to revert the decision you have been making in mind if the issues that were causing you to part ways were not fully resolved. Some people would reverse such decisions out of fear that life would be hard outside the marriage. Have the right sense of mind and consider if you want the spouse back and ensure that there is a total transformation. This would resolve a painful time you would have while divorcing.
14. Consider the legal part of the separation.
Whereas there are issues that can be resolved while couples are living apart though still married, before deciding for an official ending of the marriage, think about how the problem can be solved while you are separated. If it can, then it’s wise to separate as you seek legal redress to the challenges.
Finally, separation can be a painful process, and a little kindness can change your spouse to become the angel you have never known about. Be kind as you consider making the final decision, and you never know that there would be a turnaround of events and change your family for better. Never be emotional while undergoing through marriage challenges; there is always a solution to everything.